Sunday, April 30, 2006
This is Andreas.This
, however is different.
That's where he writes about music and such.
R.I.P. Military Toothbrush
For a while you were mine, worlds coolest toothbrush. It was fate when I found you at Lagerverkauf for 3 bucks. Then I moved, somehow forgot you in the bathroom, and my old flatmate threw you away before I could return and prove my everlasting love to you.
You had so many more years ahead of you!
Maybe preferably not years of brushing though, if you consider dental hygiene.
I still weep nonetheless.
Friday, April 28, 2006
This pizza from Bambino on Danzigerstr was great, almost as good as the box.
Electronica VS. Fruit Bon-Bons
To the left, swedish electronica musician Nim
To the right, german orange and lemon flavored bon-bons Nimm 2
Time for a Google Fight!
Talking about MySpace
, I set up a little Nose-account yesterday, and y'all should be able to hear and download Happy Little Waterline
, Wo ist die Geld
and 2=5 hours
there. Finally I will be able to make friends with celebrities, hot chicks and...programmers? I don't know, but 50 billion users can't be more than 90% idiots right?
No, I've had plenty use of MySpace. Everytime some band is playing somewhere, It's really easy to check out their MySpace page, hear a couple of tunes, and decide the show won't be worth the 5 bucks, and I'll go to some shitty techno
place with my techno friends instead, listening to some mindnumbing worthless techno shit, and dance my ass off.
Or if it's thursday and I've been drinking all week, stay home blogging.
Speaking of drinking, gotta stop go out celebrating things like the portuguese independence day
No, I take that back. Go Portugal.Oh yeah, and here's the link: www.myspace.com/nosedef
See you at the Chin Chin vernissage
now on saturday
, april 29, 20.00
at Cafe Soylent
, Gabriel-Max Str 3 (S/U Warschauer Str). Expect some great weird collages, paintings, street art, what do I know? And have something meatless to eat. Check out some pics at her Myspace-page
if you can't wait, and I know you can't, or shouldn't.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
As soon as I cross Oberbraumbrücke
, the bridge that separates Friedrichhain from Kreuzberg, and enter X-berg (if I'm not going the opposite way) I know I'm going to end up really drunk in an old mosque, a gay club or in a tiled surgery room / bath house.
This time the latter, in West Germany
, that my flatmate was working with. MAN does tiled dance floors get slippery. Makes for awesome dancing. This time to Plastique de Reve
. Suzi Wong
also played some awesome stuff for an empty floor until 03:00, and I regret not being drunk enough to do her DJ:ing justice by taking on the floor by myself. I think I somewhat tried though.
Download Plastique's Nekobus EP
, a tribute of sorts to the worlds greatest feelgood anime, My Neighbour Totoro
. But I didn't catch anything of that one on the floor tonight.
This is also the first time in about a year that I didn't go in the wrong direction when heading home from X-berg and end up in Schöneberg. Hurray!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Psychiatry is Russian and Nazi
I get into trouble at least twice every week for making nazi jokes. Berlin is just not the best place for that.
I never learn though, so here are two hilarious nazi/communist-related links:
1. Former Scientology President Heber Jentzsch answers to critisism from psychiatrists:"Psychiatry is Russian and Nazi. Remember, it's an import. It's like bringing the bonic-the bubonic plague into America, as far as I'm concerned. They are not American, and we are. And they can go back to where they came from."
From a 1992 Nightline TV special that you can watch here
(this quote is in part two).2. MP3 - Go Home You Foreign Communist (via BoingBoing
A delicious 70's funk rarity, supposedly by Al C. Bailey."Hey Commie! I'ma tell you something you should know... this is AMERICA... the country where I was born! You're not welcome here!"
Usually all I need (and I do need
it) to endure a head splitting sunday hangover is Frank Sinatra
. But here's an alternative mix that does the trick. A couple of ingredients are indispensable though: sweet vocals
, a touch of melancholy,
.1. Jon Brion - Monday
Opening instrumental from the movie I Heart Huckabees
. Wonderful Krystof Komeda
/italian 60's spy movie
-vibes. I'm really close to popping in the DVD everytime I hear this mysterious little feelgood track.2. Andrew Bird - A Nervous Tick Motion of the Head to the Left
Epic whistling and doomsday lyrics in a perfect laid back blend of Pavement
and Belle & Sebastian
(the voice, the smartass lyrics, the orchestration). The spaghetti western whistling almost does the trick by itself though. In Berlin om may 9!3. Madvillain - Great Day
Looks like it's gonna be a great day today! MF Doom
saves the day with more smartass lyrics over Madlib
's warm cosy-addictive jazz fumbling. Got a light? Nah, Bud Light.4. Sondre Lerche - Stupid memories
Oh, that guitar/piano-tinkling-intro... Soothing laid back retro sentimental jazz-country stuff, with some sweet ass steel guitar. Stupid memory, must you bring up these things?5. El Ten Eleven - My only swerving
Hey! Hangover post-rock
! A tighter beat to give you enough energy to put on a cup of coffe. That short ever repeating slide loop and the hand-clap break more than makes up for the lack of vibrating vocal chords. Put on repeat.6. Broadcast - Corporeal
After all the sweetness, let's tickle and tease the ears with the little scraping electro noises that only Broadcast can make so beautiful, together with the low reverberating guitar pluck and Trish Keenan's soothing voice on top. Makes you go Aaaaaa-aaaa-aaahhh...7. Dionne Warwick - Anyone Who Had a Heart
Hangover geniuses Burt Bacharach
and Hal David
in a threesome with Warwick! Melancholic desperate retro love soul.8. Chet Baker - Let's Get Lost
Snap your chubby jazz fingers and pour Chet's voice into your coffee.9. Hanne Hukkelberg - Ease
Groovy, fluffy, and a little flipped out, the norweigians don't come better than this, and noone else either. I hate all other jazz than this, actually. This is fun and imaginative. Skill and imagination, when did you come across that in jazz last time?10. RJD2 - Ghostwriter
Ok, bringing the beat back. Instrumental hip-hop for the pop peeps. Man, is that Elliot Smith
-sample sweet! Made him sound like an Aphex Twin
70's soul choir.
Mix the above with some random Stereolab
and The Sea & Cake
, they've always got something to suit every mood.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Stereolab in Berlin / Sorry for not being gay
Got rejected tonight with the line: "But I thought you were gay".
"But I thought you were gay
"Well, kiss me and we'll see if I am, or will turn, gay".
[Girl runs for cover]Stereolab
is plaiying in Berlin on may 15 at Hebbel am Ufer. I'm listening to Les Yper Sound
from the alblum Emperor Tomato Ketchup
on repeat as I'm writing this. Alternating the Radio 1 Sessions
take (lyrics from koly.com);you go in that team / i go on this team
divide everything /a flag or a number
make 'em opposites / so there's a reason
stigmatisation / ok now we can fight
divide everything / just put it all flat
justification / ok now you can fight
it is correct and reasonable
These are the lyrics I live by. A fierce hatred of prejudice and division for all kinds of reasons, racial and identical. At least when I recognize it and it hurts me
This is something I have to learn to tackle. When it comes to girls at least. They (here I'm already treading into unknown boundaries by defining them
) seem to get freaked out by someone (ok, me
) not acting stereotypical heterosexual while being heterosexual.
Ok, now we can fight.
Or, "ok, so I just stink at picking up girls at clubs". I'm probably the most typical "friend" guy that you could ever find. I don't pick up girls at all, end of story. These are the latest rejections I've had:
- [Girl dances with me / I ask if I could buy her a beer / girl fetches boyfriend]
- "Ein bisschen abstand bitte" (could you give me some space please?)
- "I just came here to dance" [girl runs for cover]
I'm really trying not to go Woody Allen-bitter here (and trying to avoid dating future stepdaughters). So I blog.
Anyone else out there who got rejected for not being gay? And why do they run for cover from us "friend"-guys? I guess we're the creapiest of the lot.
Well, maybe me and this latest girl wouldn't have had much of a romantic future if i was
gay either, but you get my drift. All of my gay friends have refused to recognize this discriminatory problem of mine, saying I don't seem gay; "no homo would have hair like that", they haven't at all agreed to my tattooing plans etc, but think they'll open their eyes soon enough. No, that doesn't go for you Jory, you totally see it I think. But you steal the girls from me as well, you little fag. ;)
And Christian (Kryddan) reminded me that this is a classic Seinfeld-problem, being "thin, single, and neat". If any of that applies in my case.Justification. Ok, now we can fight!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Fan, jag vill också så gärna hylla TV
. Tyckte det såg så ljust ut. Men jag förhastade mig. Förra årets gottande i DVD-säsonger av TV-godbitar hade satt förväntningarna way too high. Svårt att toppa Twin Peaks
levde inte riktigt upp till hypen, slår ändå allt annat just nu, gick inte att sluta titta förrän första säsongen var slukad och jag var ikapp. Sen blev jag tvungen att vänta en hel jävla vecka på nya avsnitt, och istället för att fylla tiden med annat började jakten på nya serier. Det här är vad jag hittade:Prison Break
"Bättre än Lost!" ropar Leo. Efter 5 avsnitt har jag tröttnat och bryr mig inte längre. En snygg, übersmart, kisande huvudkaraktär sätter sig i fängelse för att få ut sin dödsdömde bror. "How are you going to solve this?" frågar nån karaktär i varje avsnitt när ett nytt oöverkomligt hinder visar sig. "You just take care of that thing I told you" säger han, i varje avsnitt, och så löser det sig, utan att bli särskilt intressant. Bad guys är i bad guys. Peter Stormares karaktär är den enda som har potential, och det är underhållande att han ska föreställa italienarmafioso. T.o.m konspirationsploten misslyckas de göra spännande, ofattbart. Årets besvikelse. Kanske tvingar mig själv att prova några avsnitt till. Eller börjar om med Oz istället.Thief
André Braugher, Pembleton från Uppdrag Mord (Homicide: Life on the Street)
spelar Nick Atwater, en svart Tony Soprano
för att citera Weird Science
. Borde vara skitbra. Börjar också lysande - Atwater knäcker kassaskåp medans han telefonerar med polisttationen där hans messed up step-daughter sitter och surar. 1:a avsnittet avslutas med att Atwaters & hans dotters liv vänds upp och ner, men det känns lite krampaktigt på nåt sätt, scener som borde vara jävligt rörande blir sådär. I avsnitt 2 börjar jag slösurfa.Rome
Självklart ska romare spelas av britter. Finemang. Har jag fått damp? Jag tappar fokus i avsnitt 2 här också. Inte ens all sex lyckas hålla mig fast.Hustle
Om ett gäng hustlers. Senaste Sawyer-episoden i Lost var en favorit, så det här såg jag fram emot. Ok vardags-TV med lite kluriga kupper blir det väl, första avsnittet räckte för mig, skiter fullständigt i karaktärerna.The Unit
Föll en en gång för Homicide
-kopplingen. Mannen bakom, David Mamet, gör en serie om ett anti-terror-team. Och det är en helt vanlig anti-terror-team-serie av första avsnittet att döma. Hårda militärsnubbar, veka fruar. Hur bra var Homicide egentligen?Arrested Development
Ok sitcom, kanske 20% lysande, inte mer.South Park
Modern klassiker som fortfarande är jävligt ojämn, men ibland slår allt. Min stora återupptäckt kom självklart med den fantastiska Scientologibashingen
Trapped in the Closet. Samtidskommentarerna verkar bli tydligare, mer detaljerade och allvarligare. Ibland på bekostnad av humorn. Trodde aldrig jag skulle kritisera South Park för att vara för politisk korrekt, men jo, faktiskt, i små små stunder händer det. Lämna det till Simpsons, som gör det mycket bättre. Gillar att South Park börjar bli en riktig följetong, bl.a till följd av alla fiender Stone & Parker skaffar sig i verkliga livet. Isaac Hayes lämnar serien och blir skönt hånad & avrättad. 2-delars Muhammed
/Family Guy-krig. Mr Garrison bytte kön, och har fortfarande små sköna tuttar. När slutade de ha ihjäl Kenny?Att kolla upp:
Har inte sett 24
sen första säsongen, får väl se om det funkar att hoppa in i säsong 5, och om det är värt det. Sopranos
tappade jag koll på efter en eller två säsonger, känns trögt att kolla upp var jag var. Desperate Housewives
har jag bara sett avsnitt av, verkade finfint, men samma där, vill gärna se det från början. Går det att hitta K Street
nåstans? Såg ett avsnitt på SVT, fruktansvärt bra serie i dokumentär stil om amerikansk lobby-pr-politik, producerat av Clooney/Soderbergh tror jag, på samma nivå som olje-thrillern Syriana om jag minns rätt. Sen provar jag gärna att se om Dallas
, Falcon Crest
och Bröderna Dal
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Holy crap, this is huge
. Couldn't make out what I was seeing when I walked down Danzigerstrasse late at night a while ago. A really really weird mega-poster. Then I see. Both the big pink bunny
and the ever-half-naked Tally Weill-model
have both got their brains blown out
That's what you get when you put up a huge sexist piece of crap on a house wall that's got construction scaffolding
around it... Someone has climbed up, torn/sawed out huge holes and poured gallons of paint through it. Brilliant.
I'm really sorry I didn't notice the corporate response
that came later. From what I've heard the holes were covered with flowers
, accompanied by a text that said "Thank you for the flowers". What a war. Search around, maybe someone got a pic of it on Flickr or whatnot.
If you're hungry after more Berlin street art, there's a vernissage at ZMF
today for an exhibition of SP38
, the frenchman with the "Vive La Borgeoisie"-posters.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Lost Commentary Track Podcast
Put this in your iPod clone while you watch the latest Lost episode (season 2 episode 18 - "Dave"), and - voila - you'll be in the company of Jonas, Leo and Jonna drinking wine, babbling in swedish and cheering for Hurley all through the episode!Download Lost Commentary mp3
Owe Thörnqvist in the Container
New additions to the collaborative Container story."Hey, Do you know Owe Thörnqvist? His ass is filled with Orpon. Yep, that's a kind of berry!"
Monday, April 10, 2006
Leo found an old jar with "Parmonia" in my kitchen. Supposedly eatable until at least one year ago. Smelled of really old cheese (which I presume it is, or is it a Parmesan/Ammonia-combo?). We had a closer look and found a secret scripture pasted on the back, that says "Szarm : Olaszorszag
First of all, how do you pronounce that? Charm? Ola Sure-Shag?
We didnt settle there though. We had to know what was behind all this. After watching the latest Lost-episode, Leos fingers were trembling as he tapped in the codewords in Googles search box.
An image search didnt result in anything. The regular search gave us some clues though, like the website Cigarminds.hu
. All this has either something to do with Hungary, tobacco, or both.
We're very very close. Just a little InterTran-translation away. And lo and behold, here is the truth:
Hungarian: Szarm Olaszorszag.
English: Turd Italy
We still can't beleive what we're reading. As I'm writing this, my mother is on her way to Hungary. I've got to warn her.
If you're not believing what you're reading either, do some translating of your own here
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Berlin SWAT-teams and shootouts
Someone said earlier this week that Boxhagener Platz
in Friedrichhain had become flooded with nazis
. Weird. In my 1,5 years in this city I've only seen drunks and druggies fighting in sync with their respective dogs, with lots of kinderwagen families around watching with joy. Are those calm happy sunny days over?
When Andreas came home after we'd seen The Knife at Club Maria, he found his lock changed and his door handle sawed off. Their apartment was turned upside down. Clothes everywhere. Nothing missing but an old grenade shell that a flatmate had found , and a pair of souvenir nunchakus . Their passports were spread out on a table.
Turns out that someone had been shot with a shotgun outside their window in broad daylight (no-one died as far as we know), and a witness had claimed that the shot had come from Andreas balcony... And this was on Danziger Strasse in good hip old Prenzlauerberg. So the cops had raided the place. Fortunately (?) no-one was home at the time. The cops had put in a new lock, but wouldnt say anything else... Obviously they didnt find any evidence (we speculated about if someone could have broken in earlier and fired the shots...).
One flatmate was happy because the cops had found her passport that she thought she'd lost forever...
I'll stay in my flat today I think.
Mainly because of my hangover though.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
I woke up one morning naked in a container
That's how the story begins. Follow the story as it developes as it gets email-forwarded around the world and posted at container.wordsteal.com.
The first, midget-related
, contribution just came in from Petter.
Don't miss out on whats frärscht:Mattias
are it. Frärscht!
Got kind of a soar throat, after having spent hours in the 12crackmonkeys
studio, screaming swedish profanity like "ditt smutsiga lilla cancer-ollon" while choking myself, all for the fourth part of the german film(/radio?) noir-hörspiel Dead To Right
In a couple of weeks you'll be able to hear how fantastic my voice acting interpretation of the swedish gun runner IKEA-boy
might have turned out. Practice your german by downloading the first episodes in the meantime.